Book 9 / Chapter 11
Paragraph 4 - Friendship and Noble Action
Explanation - Part By Part
"Conversely, it is fitting to go unasked and readily to the aid of those in adversity (for it is characteristic of a friend to render services, and especially to those who are in need and have not demanded them; such action is nobler and pleasanter for both persons);"
Aristotle is saying here that true friendship shines in difficult times. When someone is going through adversity, it is proper and virtuous for a friend to step in and offer help without waiting to be asked. This is because being there for someone who is in need—especially when they haven’t explicitly requested help—reflects the essence of what it means to be a good, supportive friend. Such actions are not only morally noble, but they also bring a sense of deep satisfaction and joy to both the person offering help and the one receiving it.
"but when our friends are prosperous we should join readily in their activities (for they need friends for these too),"
Aristotle here is highlighting that even when our friends are doing well and everything is going smoothly in their lives, they still need us to be part of their joy and success. Prosperity and good fortune aren't just personal—they're meant to be shared and celebrated with others. Being part of their activities during such times strengthens the bond of friendship and acknowledges that their happiness is valuable not just to them, but also to us. In other words, friendship isn't only about support during hardships; it's also about participating wholeheartedly in the good times.
"but be tardy in coming forward to be the objects of their kindness; for it is not noble to be keen to receive benefits."
This part suggests that it is not considered honorable or virtuous to eagerly position yourself as someone who is ready to receive favors or benefits from others, even from your friends. Aristotle believes that true friendship is built on mutual respect and support, and being overly keen to accept help or kindness might make you seem self-serving or dependent. Instead, the noble path is to aim to give rather than to receive, as generosity and self-sufficiency are seen as virtuous qualities.
"Still, we must no doubt avoid getting the reputation of kill-joys by repulsing them; for that sometimes happens."
Aristotle is pointing out that while it’s important not to impose on others' kindness or eagerly seek out benefits for oneself, one should also avoid coming across as ungrateful or joyless by rejecting the goodwill or help of friends. Sometimes, refusing their kindness or attempts to share in your circumstances—whether in good times or bad—can make it seem like you are dismissive of their friendship or unwilling to let them participate in your life. This balance is key: neither overly seeking help nor refusing it to the point that it damages the relationship.
"The presence of friends, then, seems desirable in all circumstances."
Aristotle is emphasizing that having friends is valuable no matter what situation we are in—whether we are thriving or facing challenges. Friends enrich our lives, providing support in hard times and sharing joy in good times. Their presence enhances our experiences and helps us navigate life more meaningfully, making friendship a universal good.