Book 9 / Chapter 11
Paragraph 3 - The Role of Friends in Prosperity and Adversity
Explanation - Part By Part
"On the other hand, the presence of friends in our prosperity implies both a pleasant passing of our time and the pleasant thought of their pleasure at our own good fortune."
Aristotle is saying that having friends around when things are going well in our lives is enjoyable on two levels. First, their company makes our good times even more pleasant because we get to share those moments with people we care about. Second, there’s an extra layer of joy that comes from knowing that our success or happiness also brings them happiness. Their pleasure in our good fortune adds another positive dimension to our experience. Friendship magnifies the joy of prosperity by turning it into a shared celebration.
"For this cause it would seem that we ought to summon our friends readily to share our good fortunes (for the beneficent character is a noble one), but summon them to our bad fortunes with hesitation."
Aristotle is suggesting here that it's natural and even virtuous to involve our friends in our moments of success and happiness. Sharing such positive experiences strengthens bonds and reflects a noble, generous character. On the other hand, when it comes to difficult times, he's advising caution. We shouldn't burden our friends too quickly or too heavily with our troubles, as it might cause them unnecessary distress. The implication is that true friendship includes both joy and support, but we should be mindful of not overwhelming those we care about with our struggles.
"For we ought to give them as little a share as possible in our evils whence the saying 'enough is my misfortune'."
Aristotle is saying here that we should try to burden our friends as little as possible with our own troubles or misfortunes. When he references the saying "enough is my misfortune," he implies that it's already difficult enough for us to endure our own hardships, so we shouldn't add to that by causing our friends unnecessary pain or difficulty. It's a call to be considerate – while friendship is about mutual support, we should be mindful of not imposing too much of our suffering onto others, out of care for their well-being.
"We should summon friends to us most of all when they are likely by suffering a few inconveniences to do us a great service."
Aristotle suggests that we should ask for our friends' help mainly when their effort or inconvenience in assisting us will be small, but the benefit or positive impact on us will be significant. Essentially, he's advocating for a sense of balance and consideration in friendships: don't burden your friends unnecessarily, especially if the personal cost to them outweighs the help they're providing. Respect their well-being, and only call on them in situations where the good they can do for you is worth their relatively minor sacrifice. This reflects Aristotle's broader idea of maintaining fairness and mutual benefit in relationships.