ETHICS

This part emphasizes that having friends around during tough times involves multiple emotional dynamics. It highlights that their presence isn't just about one clear-cut feeling or effect; rather, it combines various elements, including comfort, support, and even potential challenges. Friendship in such moments is layered and complex, bringing both relief and responsibility.

Seeing a friend, especially during hard times, has a uniquely comforting effect. Their presence alone can lift our spirits, and if they’re thoughtful and understanding, the words they offer can soothe us even further. A good friend knows who we are—what makes us happy, what troubles us—and this personal knowledge allows them to provide the kind of support we truly need in moments of difficulty.

Aristotle is explaining a natural human reaction here: when someone we care about suffers alongside us because of our hardships, it can create a mixed emotional experience. While having their support is comforting, it can also be painful to realize that our suffering is causing them distress. People tend to instinctively avoid being the source of pain for their friends, as it goes against the very nature of friendship, which is rooted in goodwill and mutual happiness.

Aristotle is saying here that individuals with a strong or "manly" character, as he puts it, try to avoid causing distress to their friends by sharing their own sorrows or misfortunes excessively. They are cautious because they cannot bear the thought of their friends suffering emotional pain on their behalf. Such people prefer to endure their difficulties privately rather than sharing them in a way that would impose grief on others. This isn't because they are indifferent to their own pain, but rather because they value their friends' well-being and don't want to burden them. In fact, their own aversion to mourning makes them less inclined to seek out others to share in that experience of grief.

Aristotle is making an observation here about human behavior that reflects the cultural and societal attitudes of his time. He notes that some people tend to prefer companionship and shared empathy during moments of grief; specifically, he attributes this trait to "women and womanly men." This phrasing reflects the gender norms of his era, where emotional expression and the desire for emotional support were often stereotypically associated with femininity or a "softer" nature.

The key takeaway is that some individuals find comfort and connection in sharing sorrow and being accompanied by others who sympathize with their pain. They value having friends who can emotionally align with them during tough times, strengthening the bond through shared vulnerability.

It’s important to emphasize that this perspective comes from Aristotle's context, where notions of gender roles and emotional behavior were different from how we might think about them today. Whether one finds solace in solitude during grief or in the presence of empathetic companions is ultimately a deeply personal preference, not inherently tied to gender or a particular type of nature.

Aristotle is concluding this passage by suggesting that when it comes to dealing with life’s challenges—specifically in how we handle grief and friendship—we should strive to follow the example set by the nobler, or "better," type of person. These "better" individuals embody virtues such as strength, self-control, and consideration for others. Rather than indulging in excessive mourning or drawing others into their sadness, they maintain a balance, aiming not to burden their friends unnecessarily with their own pain.

This line reinforces Aristotle’s larger theme in "Nicomachean Ethics" that virtuous behavior should be our guide. In this case, he seems to be saying that it's important to be mindful of how we approach relationships in times of difficulty, striving to act in ways that honor both our own dignity and the well-being of our friends. This attitude aligns with his broader notion of cultivating a virtuous and well-ordered life.