Book 9 / Chapter 11
Paragraph 1 - The Necessity and Nobility of Friendship in Fortune and Adversity
Explanation - Part By Part
"Do we need friends more in good fortune or in bad? They are sought after in both; for while men in adversity need help, in prosperity they need people to live with and to make the objects of their beneficence; for they wish to do well by others."
Aristotle is asking whether friends are more essential when life is going well or when it's going badly. He notes that we rely on friends in both situations but for different reasons. In tough times, we need friends to provide support and assistance, helping us manage adversity. On the other hand, during good times, friends serve a different purpose—they are companions with whom we can share our joy and success. Additionally, when life is favorable, people are motivated to do good for others, and having friends provides them with meaningful relationships in which to direct that generosity. Essentially, friends fulfill different needs depending on whether we are struggling or thriving.
"Friendship, then, is more necessary in bad fortune, and so it is useful friends that one wants in this case; but it is more noble in good fortune, and so we also seek for good men as our friends, since it is more desirable to confer benefits on these and to live with these."
Aristotle is pointing out that the role of friendship changes depending on the circumstances of our lives. When things go wrong and we face hardship ("bad fortune"), friends become essential because we need help and support to get through tough times. In this context, friendships that are useful—built on providing assistance or practical benefits—are especially important.
On the other hand, when life is going well ("good fortune"), the function of friendship shifts. It's not so much about needing help anymore, but about sharing your success and happiness with others. In this case, it's more noble (or virtuous) to have friendships with good, virtuous people—those whose character and values align with your own. These are friends you can not only enjoy life with but also contribute to in meaningful ways, like doing good deeds for them or sharing in mutual growth. This makes such friendships deeply fulfilling.
"For the very presence of friends is pleasant both in good fortune and also in bad, since grief is lightened when friends sorrow with us. Hence one might ask whether they share as it were our burden, or-without that happening-their presence by its pleasantness, and the thought of their grieving with us, make our pain less."
Aristotle is reflecting on why the presence of friends is comforting, particularly during difficult times. He observes that just having friends around is inherently pleasant, regardless of whether life is going well or poorly. In bad times, their presence seems to lessen grief. But this raises a question: does their support genuinely "share" and reduce the burden of our pain, or does the mere fact that they are there, and the knowledge that they sympathize with us, simply make the pain feel lighter because it reassures and soothes us emotionally? Aristotle doesn't settle on a definite explanation but acknowledges that either way, friends undeniably help ease suffering through their companionship.
The central idea is that the emotional support and solidarity friends provide—whether through action or just their presence—lightens the load of hardship, showing the profound value of friendship in human life.
"Whether it is for these reasons or for some other that our grief is lightened, is a question that may be dismissed; at all events what we have described appears to take place."
Aristotle is essentially saying that while the exact mechanism by which friends ease our grief may be unclear or debatable—whether it's because they "share" the burden of pain with us, or simply because their presence is comforting and makes us feel less alone—the result is undeniable: having friends around does help lighten our suffering. He suggests that we don’t need to dwell too deeply on the exact reason; what matters is that this comforting effect of friendship is a real and observable part of human experience.