ETHICS

Aristotle is questioning whether there should be a limit to how many true, virtuous friends one can have, much like there are limits to the size of a city. Just as a city cannot function properly if it is too small or too large, friendships based on goodness need a balance—they thrive within certain boundaries, rather than being endless. It's not about quantity, but about finding a number that allows those friendships to be meaningful and sustainable.

This part uses the analogy of a city to explore the idea of limits in relationships, specifically in how many truly meaningful friendships one can sustain. Aristotle points out that a city, to function as a city, cannot be made up of only ten people—that's too small. Similarly, it can't consist of an overwhelmingly large number, like a hundred thousand, because then it would lose the sense of community and togetherness that defines a city. The "proper number" of citizens lies somewhere between these two extremes.

He applies this reasoning to friendships, suggesting that there isn't one perfect, fixed number of friends that works for everyone, but there are practical limits. Too few friends might not offer the rich and fulfilling connections we need for a good life. Too many, on the other hand, might dilute the closeness and quality of those connections, making it difficult to maintain genuine intimacy or mutual care. So, the ideal number of friends is somewhere between those extremes—enough to provide meaningful relationships without overwhelming oneself.

This part highlights an important idea: there is a practical limit to the number of meaningful friendships a person can have, especially when it comes to deep, virtuous friendships. Aristotle emphasizes that true friendship involves spending time together and sharing life in a significant way. Since our time and energy are limited, it’s clear that we cannot maintain this level of closeness with a large number of people. Attempting to "divide yourself" among too many would dilute the intimacy and depth that real friendship requires.

Aristotle is saying that for a group of friends to truly enjoy a deep and meaningful friendship together, they must all share a mutual bond, not just with the central individual (you) but also with one another. Essentially, a group of close friends needs to feel connected as a group, not just as separate connections to one person. However, creating and maintaining such mutual friendship within a group is incredibly challenging, especially as the group grows larger. The larger the group, the harder it becomes for everyone to sustain this level of close connection and shared understanding.

Aristotle is pointing out the emotional limitations of human relationships. He argues that it's challenging to deeply share both joy and sorrow with a large number of people. For example, if one friend is celebrating something wonderful while another is going through a tough time, it can be really hard—if not impossible—to truly be there for both at the same time. This emotional conflict highlights why meaningful, close friendships are better kept to a smaller number: it allows for genuine and focused emotional connection, which isn't feasible with too many people.

Aristotle is saying that we shouldn't aim to have an unlimited number of friends, but rather, just enough to truly share life with. Deep, meaningful friendships require time, effort, and emotional connection, and it's simply not possible to maintain those deep ties with too many people. True friendship is about quality, not quantity. By focusing on a smaller, more meaningful group, we can genuinely nurture and live alongside our friends in a way that great friendship requires.

Aristotle is making an important point here about the depth of relationships. He argues that love, in its truest and most intense form, is like a heightened version of friendship. It's so deep and consuming that it’s simply not possible to feel this level of connection with multiple people. Just as with "great friendship," such a profound bond requires significant emotional energy, trust, and time—things that naturally limit how many people you can share it with. Essentially, true love or deep friendship demands focus and exclusivity because it’s about quality, not quantity.

Aristotle is pointing out that, in reality, deep and meaningful friendships—the kind of friendships based on shared values, virtue, and genuine connection—are rare. When we think of "classic" or "famous" examples of such close bonds, they are typically between just two individuals rather than a large group. This highlights the limited capacity we have as humans to forge and maintain truly profound relationships with many people at the same time.

Aristotle is pointing out that someone who tries to be close, intimate friends with a large number of people often ends up being perceived as not truly a friend to anyone. This is because genuine, deep friendship requires time, effort, and emotional connection, which are difficult to extend meaningfully to many people at once. Instead, these individuals are seen as engaging in shallow or surface-level social interactions, more akin to the polite, civil relationships we might have with acquaintances or fellow members of a community (what he calls "fellow-citizens"). Aristotle suggests that this excessive effort to please or connect widely with others can come across as insincere or overly eager, which is why such people might be labeled as "obsequious"—a term for being overly submissive or trying too hard to please everyone.

In this part, Aristotle is clarifying the distinction between different types of relationships. He acknowledges that it's possible to have friendly and respectful connections with many people in a broad sense, like the way we might interact with fellow members of our community or society. You can be polite, kind, and fair to acquaintances or fellow citizens without being overly flattering (obsequious) or insincere. Such relationships might involve goodwill and decency but don't require deep personal bonds.

However, he emphasizes that true friendships—the kind grounded in shared virtue and genuine appreciation for the other person's character—are rare and can only exist with a few people. These virtuous friendships require meaningful, intimate connections and a mutual commitment to each other's moral development and well-being. Given the emotional and time investment required for these deep relationships, it's simply not feasible to have such bonds with many people. Therefore, Aristotle suggests that we should not strive for an abundance of virtuous friends but instead feel fortunate if we find even a handful of them.