Book 8 / Chapter 6
Paragraph 3 - Types of Friendship and their Motivations
Explanation - Part By Part
"Of these two kinds that which is for the sake of pleasure is the more like friendship, when both parties get the same things from each other and delight in each other or in the things, as in the friendships of the young; for generosity is more found in such friendships."
Aristotle is explaining that friendships based on mutual pleasure feel closer to true friendship compared to those based solely on utility. These types of friendships often involve both people enjoying or delighting in each other's company or shared interests. He mentions that this type of bond is common among young people because they tend to be more generous and less calculating in these connections, focusing more on shared enjoyment and less on practical benefits.
"Friendship based on utility is for the commercially minded."
Aristotle is saying here that friendships based on utility (usefulness) are primarily sought by people who are focused on practical, transactional relationships—like those "commercially minded" individuals whose main concerns revolve around exchanges of benefits or services. These friendships aren’t about deep emotional connection or shared values; instead, they exist because both parties find each other useful in some way. For instance, it could be a business relationship, where the main interest is mutual gain rather than true personal connection.
"People who are supremely happy, too, have no need of useful friends, but do need pleasant friends; for they wish to live with some one and, though they can endure for a short time what is painful, no one could put up with it continuously, nor even with the Good itself if it were painful to him; this is why they look out for friends who are pleasant."
Aristotle is saying that people who are "supremely happy" (those who are fulfilled and content with their lives) don’t really need friends who are only useful to them—friends they rely on for practical benefits. Instead, they seek pleasant friends, people whose company they genuinely enjoy. Why? Because even the most fulfilled person doesn’t want to live completely alone—they naturally want companions to share their life with.
However, there’s a limit to human endurance: while people might tolerate pain or discomfort for a short period, no one can bear it endlessly. Even something inherently "good" (like a virtuous act) becomes unsustainable if it's constantly unpleasant or painful. That’s why happy people look for friends who bring them joy and ease, helping to make life enjoyable, rather than adding more hardship. Essentially, even the happiest life needs moments of lightness and connection.
"Perhaps they should look out for friends who, being pleasant, are also good, and good for them too; for so they will have all the characteristics that friends should have."
Aristotle is suggesting that the ideal type of friend is someone who not only brings pleasure but is also inherently good and beneficial to the other person. This kind of friend combines all the important traits of a true friendship: they are enjoyable to be around (pleasant), they live virtuously (good), and their presence genuinely improves or contributes to the well-being of the other person (good for them). In essence, Aristotle is advocating for friendships that are deep and well-rounded, not just shallow or based on fleeting enjoyment. These friendships are rare but embody the highest form of companionship.