Book 8 / Chapter 6
Paragraph 2 - The Limitations of Perfect Friendship
Explanation - Part By Part
"One cannot be a friend to many people in the sense of having friendship of the perfect type with them, just as one cannot be in love with many people at once (for love is a sort of excess of feeling, and it is the nature of such only to be felt towards one person);"
Aristotle is saying that deep, perfect friendship — the highest kind of friendship based on mutual goodness, virtue, and understanding — is rare and cannot be shared with many people. He compares this to being in love, which is also an intense, all-encompassing emotion typically directed toward a single person. Both perfect friendship and love require a deep emotional investment and exclusivity, making it impossible to divide that same level of profound connection among many people. Essentially, true and deep connections are special because of their focused and unique intensity.
"and it is not easy for many people at the same time to please the same person very greatly, or perhaps even to be good in his eyes."
Aristotle is saying here that it’s difficult for many people to deeply impress or satisfy someone all at once or to truly be seen as virtuous or admirable in that person’s judgment. This is likely because true admiration and connection—especially in the context of deeper relationships—require a more personal, intimate, and meaningful interaction, which can’t be easily spread across multiple people. In essence, genuine, profound bonds or high regard for others tend to be selective and focused rather than broadly applied.
"One must, too, acquire some experience of the other person and become familiar with him, and that is very hard."
Aristotle is saying here that forming a close, meaningful friendship requires time and effort. It's not enough to simply meet someone or enjoy their company briefly; true friendship involves getting to know the other person deeply, understanding who they are, and building trust over time. This kind of familiarity isn't easy to achieve—it takes patience and shared experiences to genuinely connect with someone on a deeper level.
"But with a view to utility or pleasure it is possible that many people should please one; for many people are useful or pleasant, and these services take little time."
Aristotle is saying that when it comes to friendships based on utility (usefulness) or pleasure, it’s easier to have such relationships with many people. Why? Because these kinds of friendships don’t require a deep, long-term connection or a lot of emotional investment. They’re more transactional and surface-level—you like someone because they’re helpful to you or fun to be around. These interactions don’t take as much effort, trust, or time to build as true friendships, which are rooted in mutual love and admiration for each other as people.