Book 8 / Chapter 6
Paragraph 1 - Friendship Among the Elderly and the Sour-Tempered
Explanation - Part By Part
"Between sour and elderly people friendship arises less readily, inasmuch as they are less good-tempered and enjoy companionship less; for these are thought to be the greatest marks of friendship productive of it."
Aristotle is observing that "sour" (grumpy or unpleasant) people and elderly individuals often find it harder to form close friendships. This is because such friendships typically thrive on traits like good temperament (being cheerful and agreeable) and the ability to enjoy spending time together. Since sour people are naturally less pleasant and elderly people sometimes prefer isolation or are less inclined to lively social interaction, the qualities that spark and sustain friendships are less present in these groups. Hence, for Aristotle, these factors hinder the formation of genuine bonds.
"This is why, while men become friends quickly, old men do not; it is because men do not become friends with those in whom they do not delight; and similarly sour people do not quickly make friends either."
Aristotle is pointing out that younger people tend to make friends more quickly compared to older people. This is because forming friendships often depends on enjoying and taking delight in another person's company. Older individuals, who might be set in their ways or less open to new experiences, are less likely to "delight" in new relationships and thus do not form new bonds as easily. Similarly, people with a sour or unpleasant disposition also struggle to make friends quickly because their attitude or demeanor makes it harder for others to enjoy being around them.
"But such men may bear goodwill to each other; for they wish one another well and aid one another in need; but they are hardly friends because they do not spend their days together nor delight in each other, and these are thought the greatest marks of friendship."
Aristotle is explaining that while some people, like older or more sour-tempered individuals, may wish each other well and even help one another in times of need, this alone doesn't make them true friends in the fullest sense of the word. True friendship is more than just goodwill or support—it involves a deeper bond where people genuinely enjoy spending time together and derive delight from each other's company. According to Aristotle, these aspects of shared enjoyment and mutual presence are the most defining characteristics of real friendship. Simply helping someone or wishing them well isn't enough to reach this higher, more meaningful level of connection.