Book 8 / Chapter 6
Paragraph 6 - Likeness and Unlikeness in Friendships
Explanation - Part By Part
"But it is from their likeness and their unlikeness to the same thing that they are thought both to be and not to be friendships."
Aristotle is saying that some relationships resemble true friendships in certain ways, but differ in others, which is why people both consider them friendships and yet, at times, do not fully see them as such. These relationships might share some surface qualities with true friendship (like mutual benefit or enjoyment), but lack the deeper, more enduring aspects that define genuine friendship. It's their mix of similarities and differences to what true friendship is that causes this tension in perception.
"It is by their likeness to the friendship of virtue that they seem to be friendships (for one of them involves pleasure and the other utility, and these characteristics belong to the friendship of virtue as well);"
Aristotle is saying here that friendships based on pleasure or utility resemble friendships of virtue to some extent because pleasure and utility can actually be part of virtuous friendships as well. In a virtuous friendship, two people genuinely care for each other's character and well-being, but these relationships can naturally include enjoyment (pleasure) and mutual usefulness (utility). So, the fact that these elements—pleasure and utility—are present in all types of friendships makes it easy to confuse friendships of pleasure or utility with virtuous friendships, even though they are fundamentally different in depth and purpose.
"while it is because the friendship of virtue is proof against slander and permanent, while these quickly change (besides differing from the former in many other respects), that they appear not to be friendships; i.e. it is because of their unlikeness to the friendship of virtue."
Aristotle is emphasizing here that true, virtuous friendships are stable, enduring, and unshakeable. They cannot be easily damaged by gossip, conflict, or changes in circumstances. This is because these friendships are rooted in mutual goodness and the genuine appreciation of each other's character, which makes them deeply resilient.
In contrast, the other kinds of friendships—those based on pleasure or utility—are fragile and temporary. They change quickly because they are based on external factors. For example, a utility-based friendship might dissolve as soon as one person no longer brings practical benefit to the other, or a pleasure-based friendship might fade if the shared enjoyment stops. These quick changes and superficial foundations make them appear less like real friendships when compared to virtuous ones. Thus, Aristotle is pointing out their fundamental difference from virtuous friendships, despite sharing some superficial similarities.