Book 8 / Chapter 3
Paragraph 2 - The Nature of Useful and Pleasant Friendships
Explanation - Part By Part
"Now the useful is not permanent but is always changing. Thus when the motive of the friendship is done away, the friendship is dissolved, inasmuch as it existed only for the ends in question."
Aristotle is pointing out that friendships based on utility—or mutual benefit—are inherently temporary because the things that make them useful are constantly shifting. Once the specific benefit that brought the two people together is no longer relevant or useful, the basis for their friendship disappears, and so does the friendship itself. In other words, these relationships don’t endure because they are rooted in external, changeable factors rather than a deeper connection.
"This kind of friendship seems to exist chiefly between old people (for at that age people pursue not the pleasant but the useful) and, of those who are in their prime or young, between those who pursue utility."
Aristotle is pointing out that friendships based on utility—where people bond because of the benefits or advantages they bring to each other—are most common among older individuals and, to some extent, among younger or middle-aged people with practical aims. Older people tend to prioritize what is useful over what is purely pleasurable because their focus shifts from fleeting enjoyment to what serves their needs or goals. Meanwhile, practical-minded younger individuals may also form these friendships, though their motives are less tied to age and more to the pursuit of utility.
"And such people do not live much with each other either; for sometimes they do not even find each other pleasant; therefore they do not need such companionship unless they are useful to each other; for they are pleasant to each other only in so far as they rouse in each other hopes of something good to come."
Aristotle is saying that friendships based on utility—the kind of relationships where people are connected because of the benefits they provide to each other—don’t typically involve spending a lot of time together. Why? Because such friendships aren’t built on genuine enjoyment of each other’s company. In fact, these people may not even find each other particularly likable or enjoyable to be around. The only reason they maintain the relationship is because they see potential advantages or benefits—the "hopes of something good"—that may come from the connection. Essentially, it's a pragmatic arrangement, not a deep emotional bond.
"Among such friendships people also class the friendship of a host and guest."
This part refers to a specific example of a friendship created out of utility. Aristotle points out that the kind of relationship often formed between a host and a guest typically falls into this category. In such a scenario, the bond exists because it is useful—it may involve hospitality, a place to stay, or shared resources. The relationship is not necessarily based on deep personal connection or affection but rather on mutual benefit or an exchange of services. It fits the broader idea of utility-based friendships, which are transactional and tend to dissolve when the practical need or benefit is no longer present.
"On the other hand the friendship of young people seems to aim at pleasure; for they live under the guidance of emotion, and pursue above all what is pleasant to themselves and what is immediately before them; but with increasing age their pleasures become different."
In this part, Aristotle describes how the friendships of young people are largely driven by the pursuit of pleasure. He observes that young individuals are guided more by their emotions and are focused on what brings them joy in the moment, rather than seeking something long-lasting or deeply meaningful. However, as people grow older, their sense of pleasure evolves and what they find enjoyable changes, which can often shift the nature of their friendships. Essentially, this reflects how younger people tend to be more impulsive and focused on immediate gratification, while maturity brings a shift in perspective on what is truly fulfilling.
"This is why they quickly become friends and quickly cease to be so; their friendship changes with the object that is found pleasant, and such pleasure alters quickly."
This part highlights a tendency, particularly among young people, for their friendships to form and dissolve quickly. The reason behind this is that their bonds are based on what they find enjoyable or exciting in the moment. Since what they consider "pleasant" or desirable can shift easily and frequently, their attachments change just as rapidly. Essentially, these friendships are fragile because they are tied to fleeting emotions or temporary tastes rather than something deeper or more stable.
"Young people are amorous too; for the greater part of the friendship of love depends on emotion and aims at pleasure; this is why they fall in love and quickly fall out of love, changing often within a single day."
Aristotle is pointing out that young people are particularly driven by their emotions and the pursuit of pleasure when it comes to their relationships. For them, love and friendship heavily rely on the feelings of enjoyment and attraction they experience in the moment. Because this kind of connection is based on fleeting emotions rather than deeper, lasting qualities, it tends to be unstable. Young people can "fall in love" quickly but also lose interest just as fast, sometimes within a very short period, even a single day. This highlights how their emotional intensity often lacks long-term commitment or stability.
"But these people do wish to spend their days and lives together; for it is thus that they attain the purpose of their friendship."
Aristotle is saying that young people, who form friendships based on pleasure—whether it's romantic love or other forms of companionship—tend to have a strong desire to spend a lot of time together. This is because their friendship is centered around immediate gratification and enjoyment, and spending time together allows them to fulfill the purpose of that connection. Essentially, the shared experiences and moments of pleasure are the main reason their bond exists, so naturally, they want to immerse themselves in that as much as possible. However, since these friendships are based on fleeting and changeable emotions, they’re often short-lived.