Book 8 / Chapter 14
Paragraph 1 - Friendship and Inequality
Explanation - Part By Part
"Differences arise also in friendships based on superiority; for each expects to get more out of them, but when this happens the friendship is dissolved."
Aristotle is pointing out a flaw in relationships where there is an imbalance in status or ability—what he calls friendships "based on superiority." In these relationships, one person may be better (morally, intellectually, or socially) or more useful than the other. The problem arises because both individuals expect to benefit more from the friendship due to their respective positions. When one party feels they're not getting what they believe they deserve—whether it's respect, help, or something else of value—the relationship starts to fall apart. This tension undermines the foundation of the friendship, leading to its eventual breakdown.
"Not only does the better man think he ought to get more, since more should be assigned to a good man, but the more useful similarly expects this; they say a useless man should not get as much as they should, since it becomes an act of public service and not a friendship if the proceeds of the friendship do not answer to the worth of the benefits conferred."
Aristotle is highlighting a common tension in unequal friendships, where one person is "better" (in virtue, merit, or character) or "more useful" than the other. The better or more useful person often feels entitled to receive more in return because they believe their higher value justifies it. They argue that a relationship loses the personal, mutual quality of friendship if one side constantly gives more while the other gives little in return—at that point, it starts looking like charity or public service rather than a reciprocal bond.
Essentially, they're saying: "Why should someone who isn't contributing equally (a 'useless' person in this case) receive the same benefits as someone offering greater value? That wouldn't be fair, and it doesn’t align with the worth of what I’m giving." This reflects a tension about fairness and reciprocity in relationships involving unequal contributions.
"For they think that, as in a commercial partnership those who put more in get more out, so it should be in friendship."
Aristotle is explaining that some people view friendships, especially those based on a sense of superiority or inequality (where one person is "better" or more powerful than the other), as transactional—like a business partnership. In such cases, they believe that the person who contributes more to the friendship, whether through effort, utility, or value, should receive more in return. This parallels the logic of a commercial partnership, where those who invest more money or resources expect a larger share of the profits. Essentially, Aristotle is saying that these individuals approach friendship as if it operates on strict give-and-take principles, where fairness is measured by the balance of contributions and returns.
"But the man who is in a state of need and inferiority makes the opposite claim; they think it is the part of a good friend to help those who are in need; what, they say, is the use of being the friend of a good man or a powerful man, if one is to get nothing out of it?"
In this part, Aristotle is discussing the dynamic in friendships where there is an imbalance in power or status—what he calls friendships "based on superiority." He highlights a key tension that arises when one person is in a position of need or is less advantaged compared to the other. The person in a state of need argues that it is the role of the "better-off" friend (whether morally superior, wealthier, or more powerful) to provide help. Their reasoning is pragmatic: What is the point of being friends with someone who is better off if they aren’t willing to support or benefit you in times of need?
This reflects a mindset that views friendship somewhat transactionally, particularly when there is an imbalance. The "weaker" person expects the relationship to compensate for their shortcomings or disadvantages, believing that part of the "privilege" of having a good or powerful friend is receiving their assistance. This expectation can create friction if the stronger friend feels differently about what the relationship should entail, especially if they believe the friendship should involve more equality or mutual benefit.
Essentially, Aristotle is pointing to a human tendency to weigh friendships in terms of what each party gets out of them, especially when there's a disparity in status or ability, and this can either strengthen or dissolve the bond depending on how such expectations are managed.