Book 9 / Chapter 4
Paragraph 3 - Friendship and Self-Relation
Explanation - Part By Part
"Therefore, since each of these characteristics belongs to the good man in relation to himself, and he is related to his friend as to himself (for his friend is another self), friendship too is thought to be one of these attributes, and those who have these attributes to be friends."
Aristotle is saying that the qualities a good person has in relation to themselves—like unity in thought, desires, and actions—also apply to their relationships with their friends because a true friend is like "another self." The bond of friendship is built on this parallel: just as a good person treats themselves with care, harmony, and a desire for their own good, they extend the same treatment to their friends. In essence, friendship reflects this same virtuous connection, and people who share these qualities are naturally friends.
"Whether there is or is not friendship between a man and himself is a question we may dismiss for the present;"
Aristotle here acknowledges a philosophical curiosity: can a person have "friendship" with themselves? He decides not to focus on this question in the moment, choosing to "dismiss" it for later. However, he recognizes the topic's potential complexity. By doing so, he avoids deviating into an abstract discussion, keeping the focus on interpersonal friendship, which is where his main argument lies.
"there would seem to be friendship in so far as he is two or more, to judge from the afore-mentioned attributes of friendship, and from the fact that the extreme of friendship is likened to one's love for oneself."
Aristotle here is touching on an interesting idea: that a person can display friendship toward themselves. But why? Because if you look at the qualities of friendship—like caring for someone else's well-being, wishing good for them, and enjoying their company—these qualities mirror the way a virtuous person relates to themselves.
Aristotle says this might make sense if you think of a person as having two parts or aspects within them. For example, the rational, thoughtful part of a person could be seen as "caring for" their passions, desires, or actions. Or it could reflect how we try to guide ourselves toward good decisions, much like how we might try to guide a friend toward the good. This internal harmony or care for oneself can resemble the ideal form of friendship.
He also ties this to the idea that the highest form of friendship is often compared to self-love. In a deep, authentic friendship, we see the other person as "another self." Hence, the relationship we cultivate with a good friend is remarkably similar to the relationship a good person has with themselves—balanced, nurturing, and rooted in the pursuit of the good.